Sgt. Pepper Denied my Membership

For this first 26 years of my life, February 14th was my grandpa's birthday.  If he were alive today, it would be his 99th birthday!  96 is still a pretty amazing accomplishment.  I never h ad a bad Valentine's Day where all my expectations failed, I was disappointed by someone I loved, or any of the other cliche things that people get so upset about over one day because it was first and foremost a birthday celebration of one of my most favorite people.  My grandpa and I were particularly close.  I will probably cry today because of him not some silly holiday.

For those of you who think Valentine's Day sucks - DON'T LET IT!  I for one am choosing not to be a lonely heart.

1. It's just another regular day.  Choose this mindset and go forward with your day as usual.

None of my clothing today is pink or red or contains hearts (except my necklace which I wear pretty much everyday so it doesn't count).  I haven't made any plans that could fail.  I showered and decided it was a contacts day because this darn cold is still holding on tight.  I decided to not wear socks in hopes that it's warm again today.  I have flip flopped on stopping to get a pop on the way to school because my Sleep Cycle App told me I had a not great night of sleep (thanks sinus cavities). Just a typical day in the life of Becky.

2. Let go of the expectations.  Embrace what you have.

I'm sure there are people out there who expect me to crab about Valentine's Day.  As most single people do.  But, think about it.  Do you have shelter? Food? Clothes?  I am have these in abundance.  Don't have a special someone?  I have LOTS of special someones.  Someones I can call and talk to at just about any time of day.  A whole lot of someones who will drop what they're doing a pray for me if I ask.  Someones who ask me out on "dates."  I am not saying this to brag by any means - I just want you to take stock of your blessings.  No matter how small they might seem.  And I can afford a decent bag of chocolate which is an added bonus.  And flowers?  I'll just go stand in the flower section at Hy-Vee to get my fill if I so desire.  My allergies say probs not though.

3.Show Love today.

Your family.  Your friends.  Your pet.  Your local barista.  The stranger on the street whose day looks worse than yours.  Smile.  Say a kind word.  Whenever you give love away, it seems to come back multiplied.

So, happy Friday February 14th dear friends.  Gramps, I hope you are partying it up in heaven.  I have a wonderful day of work to finish getting ready for.

When God gives you a story...

I can recall the hardest day of my teaching career with remarkable clarity.  I wasn't even fully a teacher yet - just halfway through my first student teaching placement.  I had just taken attendance and was a little bummed because one of my favorite students was absent.  A few of the students made snide comments about where she might be, but I chose to ignore them and get ready for the lesson.  It was constitution day and I'm pretty passionate about that document.  All of a sudden, one of the assistant principals were pulling me and the classroom teacher out of the classroom.  The student who was absent?  She had committed suicide the night before.  I can't even begin to explain the helplessness I immediately felt.  They weren't going to be announcing it to the students yet, but I had to return to my classroom if everything was ok and go on teaching.  I was struck by feelings of - what could I have done?  Did I miss signs? Had she tried to reach out to anyone?  Could anyone have made a difference?  I certainly had no idea what this student's faith life was like, but I knew all I could do was pray for peace and understanding.  It was later found out that she didn't mean to truly kill herself, she just wanted to scare her family, but something went wrong and she actually died.

I hope I never have those feelings as a teacher again.

This story has a point.  For the longest time, I believed it was ok to lead by example when it came to sharing my faith.  I thought all I had to do was "act" like a Christian and that would be enough.  I would even use the excuse that "I have a quiet faith."  In reality I was scared.  I was worried about the people who wouldn't want to listen or have anything to do with me after they found out that I was a Christian.

Over the course of the past year, I have come to recognize that God was potentially giving me a story that would make sharing my faith more accessible to people.  People who felt lost or hurt or worried that whatever was in their past made them not good enough.  It certainly wasn't the story I would have written for myself, but God has remained faithful and shown me how powerful our lowest moments can be.  I do not have to walk around with any shame about where my life is, because I have given it fully over to the Lord.

I have had more opportunities to share God's love and his story with people in the last several months, than I ever did in my previous years of living.  We are called to share his love and his gospel and I finally get it.  I no longer worry about offending or having the wrong words.  Because I've asked for strength and wisdom, he readily gives it to me.

Just this past week, I received news that a friend had suddenly passed away.  While I don't know many details, I was immediately hit with those same feelings of hearing my student had passed away.  While I am fairly sure I knew where this friend stood in her faith, I never outright asked her or took the time to fully learn her story.  I know I cannot carry around guilt over this, but it was a wake up call that I need to seek out any and all opportunities to share my faith.

I no longer want to have a "quiet faith."  I don't want people to know my standing with God by my actions alone.  I no longer want to fear people's opinions of me when they learn I am a Christian.  I want to stand proud and humble in my faith.  To know God has given me his calling to spread the good news.  So that I never have to wonder again where those I hold dear will be going when they someday pass away.  I want to know I will leave this earth having done my best to further his kingdom.

And while this is all still new to me and a little out of my comfort zone, I can tell you - he will let you know just how far he is willing to stretch that comfort zone if it means just one person will come to know him.  And I'm really ok with that.