3 Words

I've always been a stubborn person.  I get it from both sides of my family.  It's genetic.  My power to hold a grudge? Not one of my finest qualities.  Several months ago, God called me to apologize to some people that I didn't even realize I needed to apologize to.  I fought it for a few days, but he kept pushing it in my face.  After I did it, the weight that was lifted from my heart was amazing.  I realized I didn't need to hold onto grudges, I just needed to learn to apologize and move on.  I've become a lot more forthcoming with my "I'm sorry's" in recent months.

The kiddos at school love playing the game Sorry.  The devilish glee in their eyes when they draw a Sorry card is an indicator that they are anything BUT sorry that they are sending one of their game mates back to start.  The game should really be called Anti-Sorry.  But, the game does tell them exactly what they should be sorry for.  Sometimes we need a big blinking sign in front of our face when we are supposed to say sorry.  God telling me to apologize was my Sorry card.  Unlike the game, I had to mean what I said.

I thought I had a pretty good grasp on this offering forgiveness thing, but I realized I was missing a huge component.

Sometimes the hardest thing is to ask for forgiveness for yourself.  Saying those three words, "Please forgive me" can be so difficult.  It can feel selfish.  It can be embarrassing.  It can make you feel out of control because you don't know if forgiveness is on the other end.



I tend to over analyze things.  If I just would have done _____________ my marriage would have been better.  If I'd just been able to ______________________ I'd still be married.  I've spent a lot of time playing the blame myself game which has resulted in sleepless nights and a lot of anxiety.

One of my favorite books, Jesus is ______. by Judah Smith explains grace so beautifully.  We get so wrapped up in what we think we deserve that we forget what God has already given us.  Grace comes with no strings attached.  It's already been given.  One of the things that Judah writes that changed how I think was that there is nothing I can do to make God love me any less or any more than he already does.  He loves me unconditionally.  His grace is there - I just have to accept it.

I'm too hard on myself and that needs to stop.  I need to remember that instead of beating myself up over things, I need to ask for forgiveness and bask in his grace.  Accepting his grace can only strengthen our faith and relationship with the Lord.  When we realize he just wants what's best for us, we need only ask, our worries will vanish.  Our hearts will feel whole again.  We have to get over the idea that asking for forgiveness makes us weak or selfish.  He wants to give it!

This is a lesson I am still learning.  That I still struggle with on a daily basis.  Because it relies solely on me, it can be hard.  But, I can say I never regret asking for forgiveness.  From God.  From my friends.  From my family.  Sometimes even strangers.  If we all used "please forgive me" a little more, we'd be a little better off - don't you think?