At Least it Wasn't a Whale

Sometimes, God asks us to do things we don't really want to do.  No, he doesn't ask me to clean my room or do the dishes.  He doesn't call me up and say, "Hey Becky, can you make dinner reservations for 8:00?"  When God asks me to do something, it's a little niggling feeling in my heart.  Sometimes it is something I'm fully prepared to jump on board with.  Other times, I turn my back and kind of hope it just goes away.  Which is rare.  God is persistent.  With a capital P.  In my Bible study, we are studying Jonah and when my Bible study leader asked if anyone had anything they were running from, I just sat there and thought, nope - not me.  I mean seriously, I have been pretty transparent about my life situation so it wasn't like I felt the need to hide something.  But, when I got home....there was that little feeling.  Why yes Becky.  You have been running from something.  I've asked you to pray for someone and you haven't been doing it.

Now, this may not seem like that hard of a task.  But, for me, praying for this person seemed impossible.  I laid in bed unable to sleep and finally I kind of did the ok you win thing and started praying.  Within minutes I was in the midst of an anxiety attack, was crying my eyes out because I missed my house (which is really weird since I LOVE where I am living), and I ended up getting no sleep that night and woke up with the start of a migraine.

That's how I knew I was supposed to have been praying for this person all along, because the devil sure didn't want me to be doing it now.  I felt attacked and worn and completely battered for having followed God's directions.  It felt like the devil was going to throw everything at me to keep me from wanting to continue praying for this person, even though it was obvious God wanted me to.

Going to work the next day, I felt like I'd been swallowed by a whale a spit back out - I especially like how my Bible version says "And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land."  Paints a pretty picture, right?  It felt like a day where I would be just scraping through until I could go home and crawl into bed.  The song, "Worn," was playing on repeat in my head and the day hadn't even fully begun.

That morning, I received a really uplifting message from a friend I hadn't heard from in quite some time.  My math group that I just hadn't been able to get a hang of all year, worked like clockwork.  The weather cooperated for an enjoyable recess duty.  I received a message that I didn't have to worry about dinner.  I ended up with an afternoon break when I don't normally get one.  Sure, I felt like I'd done battle the night before, but God was there picking up the pieces and getting me through.  Showing he's faithful.  Showing me that having  a little faith in his plans, even the ones I don't want to follow, result in blessings.  By the end of the day, I had a new song in my head.