Distractions

I really like technology.  I love having 1 device that can connect me to all my favorite people, play my favorite tunes, take pretty good pictures, tell me how to get to a new restaurant, and read the news.  The problem is, I don't just own one piece of technology.  I have lots.  It's a layering effect.  You start with something basic.  My laptop.  Being in school, it's kind of a necessity.  I got my iPod back when I was in college and smart phones were not even on our radar.  I've always loved tv and movies.  Now I have an iPhone.  I stepped on my Nook so that was the end of that one... There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these things.  The problem?



I've forgotten how to unplug. 



I constantly feel the need to be checking something.

The news.  Facebook.  Weather.  Instagram. Texts.

I used to sit through a movie and just watch.  Now I find myself multitasking to the max and I'm enjoying movies less.  Now I feel like there are always multiple screens going and I feel like I'm missing out if they're not.

I want to control my technology.  I'm done letting it control me.

I feel like I've gipped myself on some really great experiences.  I feel like I've compounded my stress by not being able to disconnect.  I feel like I've stopped living my own life and my technology is living it for me.

I'm going to turn my phone off during dinner and movies.  My iPad will stay in my dresser unless I'm getting ready in the morning (I use it to watch tv shows while I get ready) or travelling.

My laptop is a necessary evil right now while I'm still in the world of homework and writing papers.  Other than that, it stays under my bed.

I'm not going to turn the tv on until my Bible study is done.

I'm going to give myself at least 30 minutes to read before bed.



All of this technology has distracted me from being focused on what's really important to me.

Rather than living life through a screen, I'm simply going to live my life.

I'm done missing out because I was trying to capture the moment on my camera.  I'm going to savor the moments as they happen.

Rather than checking in on everyone on Facebook every 5 minutes, I'm going to enjoy the company I have in front of my face.

I am done letting technology be an excuse.

It certainly isn't going to be easy, but I'm ready to fill my life with the good stuff.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable

--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--

think about such things.

Phillipians 4:8

One Little Word: 2015

2015 had a bit of a bumpy start.  I found myself in a situation that I've been in before.  It is a situation that is out of my control.  I don't like it.



I want to escape to a beach to clear my head.  Refocus.  Recharge.

A beach is not in my near future.



The last time I was in this situation, I handled it less than gracefully.  I was spiteful and bitter.  Rash.



I am a different person now.  God has shaped me into a person I didn't know I could be.  This new, God-given, me is desperately trying to work through it in a whole new way.



I am holding my tongue.

I am choosing not to react.

I am praying.  A lot.

I am seeking wise counsel.

I have to Be Still.  Lean in.



All this to lead me to my one little word for the year 2015:  Authentic,

I have a desire to surround myself by reality.  Social media makes it far to easy to hide the imperfections.



I serve a very real God.  An authentic Savior.  There is nothing false about having faith in someone who time and time again extends His perfect and wonderful grace to someone who doesn't always act like they deserve it.  (That's how grace works, thankfully).



I want this year to be one of real relationships.  People who are willing to call my out when needed.  Who give life giving and soul growing wisdom.  People with no other expectations other than to be your true friend.  I'm letting go of the fake relationships.  Of trying to maintain things that aren't there.

I want this year to be one of real experiences.  Not doing things for the sake of doing them.  Seeking out opportunities to experience life, not just live it.

I want this year to be the year my faith gets even more real.  I expect that means things I am afraid of.  Letting go of things I continue to cling to even though they are long un-needed.  Nothing between me and my God.  Stripped down.  Face to face.  Faith.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -his good, pleasing and perfect will.  

Romans 12:2

The Year in Review

2014 has been quite the year.

I spent a lot of hours doing grad school work (and it paid off!)

I grew in my relationship with my Savior.  And enjoyed lots of fellowship with the most amazing Bible study ever.  They have become my friends, my sisters, my wise advisors.  It's wonderful doing life with them.

I continue to get to do a job that I love and work with the greatest bunch of people you could ask for.

Our family grew with the addition of the cutest twins imaginable.  We also lost some amazing family members along the way.

I fell in love with the love of my life.  It is wonderful to go through life with a Godly man.  A kind man.  The exact man I prayed for!

It has been a crazy busy year, but it was a pretty good one!

Merry Christmas everyone.  May it bring you much joy and love and peace.  And lots of cookies.

Happiness Is...

This summer has been stressful.  I believe the phrase is I "bit off more than I can chew."  I know this is a season in my life that won't last forever, but some days it is harder to find the good than others.  So, I made another 100 Happy Things list to remind myself that there are so many things to be happy about.  What is happiness to you?

1. Finally breaking in a new pair of sneakers  2. thunder snow  3. 4th of July cookouts  4. Where the Sidewalk Ends  5. Teddy Roosevelt  6. homemade cinnamon rolls  7. catching up with old friends

8. neon post-its  9. brinner  10. a field full of wild flowers  11. trail rides  12. going for a run in the dark  13. potato guns  14. the pen and marker aisle at an office supply store  15. Pixar  16. naps outside

17. creating  18. zoo trips  19. mini cheesecakes  20. crossword puzzles  21. eating cereal out of the box  22. OJ + Sprite  23. IKEA  24. Super Nintendo  25. rainbow sprinkles  26. Christmas cookies

 27. leggings  28. great-aunts and uncles  29. milkshakes  30. not having to wear socks  31. uncontrollable giggles  32. Instagram  33. 56=7x8  34. The Cosby Show

35. getting everything on your grocery list the first trip to the store  36. lightning bugs in cornfields  37.  birch trees  38. dancing at weddings  39. game nights  40. horses eating out of your hand

41. girls' night  42. Doris Day movies on Netflix  43. art supplies  44. Thanksgiving  45. kayaking in the lily pads  46. Jackson Cut  47. the first fall day  48. Sunday naps  49. loon calls

50. Maid of the Mist rides  51. DiCamillo's  52. cheese fries  53. crickets singing outside of your window  54. old family photos  55. button collections  56. the word AWESOME  57. bacon

 58. catching someone smiling to themselves  59. alliteration  60. Bible study  61. Roald Dahl  62. the smell of oranges and grapefruits  63. raspberry lemonade  64. outdoor concerts  65. leftovers 66. cardigans

67. fabric stores  68. star gazing  69. a new box of crayons  70. homemade quilts  71. hot cocoa + a warm fire  72. Sunday drives with my pops  73. antique shopping  74. Top Chef marathons

 75. wet cats after a bath  76. tire swings  77. opening a new can of tennis balls 78. chocolate milk  79. peonies  80. new sheet music  81. worm hunting  82. cream cheese danish  83. people watching

 84. evening walks  85. dusk  86. family traditions  87. ghost walks  88. butterfly gardens  89. over-sized sweatshirts  90. handwritten notes  91. blow torches  92. gram's laugh  93. sunlight filtered thru trees

 94. compost lessons from a 3 year old  95. a job well doe  96. pulling off a surprise  97. new socks  98. Raygu  99. reading thru old cards  100. God's timing

Dear Nat and Livy,

I've waffled on what I was going to nickname you - Via and Lia? Livy and Lia? Nat and Livy just seems right.

You are going to be entering this world  any day now.  I am beyond excited to meet you.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've prayed for you.  You are already so so very loved.

You are about to join this family and I want you to know how special they are.

Your great-grandmas.  They are both a little nuts, but in the best ways possible. They both have kid tested and approved laps.  Neither of them carries a tune so great, but that won't matter.  Their lullabies are some of my most cherished memories.  They are both so ecstatic to get to be around to meet you. They've both been trying to figure out if they can handle holding 2 babies at once (and luckily they both realize their capabilities won't let them- we don't need dropped babies!)

Your grandparents.  They are going to be great grandparents.  Your pops is kind of quiet, but has the biggest heart in the world.  If you turn out emotional, it comes from him.  I sure did, but it isn't all bad.  It just means you have all the feels!  He is sweet and caring and already loves you so so much.  He will take 8 million pictures of you and put most of them into frames to show off to everybody.  He will ask you to pull his finger waaaaaay to much and find it hilarious every time.  He gives really good hugs.  And is an amazing listener.  Your nana is fiercely loyal to her family.  She will love and support you.  She is an AMAZING cook and baker.  There will never be a shortage of cookies in her cookie jar once you are able to eat them.  She will read you a million stories.  Her patience with children is to be admired and you will benefit greatly from that.

Your dad.  He's the best big brother I could ever ask for.  He's going to spoil you rotten.  You are going to steal his heart.  He will be over protective - I can't wait to see what happens the first time you bring someone home to meet him!  I've told him he has to let you be girly if you want to be, but he's pretty set on you being football players ;)

Your mom.  I haven't known her as long as the rest of this bunch, but I love her like a sister.  She's able to put up with my brother so that's saying a lot (haha).  She is kind and supportive.  She can handle the rest of us which also says a lot!  She's done a good job baking you, but out of all of us, she is definitely the most ready for you to be here!

Your aunt.  She is a little crazy.  But in a fun way.  She is creative and quirky.  She is beyond ready to be an aunt.  She isn't a baby person, but somehow that just might change once she meets the two of you.  She will teach you about glitter and rainbows, but she will also encourage you to play in the dirt.

Your extended family:  There is a lot of them.  Nana will try to teach you all of them, but it's a losing battle.  I can't even keep them all straight.  But it is a fun bunch.  You'll like them.

We are so blessed to get to have you joining our family so soon (but not too soon- bake a few more weeks if you can!).  Our family has experienced a lot of growth in the past year in terms of building our relationships, but now we are so ready for the fun growth of adding babies to the mix!  We are dedicated to helping you grow and learn and helping you be the most amazing little girls you can be.

Welcome to the family.  You are loved.

God's Timing. Not my own.

Having anxiety is not fun.  The devil knows how to get in the cracks the second you let down your guard just the tiniest bit.  You're worn out.  Have a lot of plates spinning.  And he attacks.  Suddenly, things you weren't worrying about loom in front of you like mountains.  Any doubt you had in the back of your mind is suddenly brought to the forefront.  Things you never even thought to worry about seem like the biggest deal in the world.  I'm not an anxiety expert.  Far from it.  But, I do know reaching out and asking for help is the first step to getting me back into my normal.

Some of my best talks with God have come at my lowest moments.  We're talking face down in the carpet sobbing get real talks.  He's proven to me time and time again that he's in control and his plan is beautiful.  But still, I have those moments of doubt and worry and they just turn into a spiral of panic attacks and sleepless nights.  The more I try to cling to control, the worse the anxiety becomes.  The larger the worries grow.

Little by little, I'm learning to turn control back over to God.  My anxiety attacks are fewer and farther between.  While I have learned that God always answers prayers in his timing, it is also good to have an earthly support system.  In the midst of a recent panic attack, my insecurities were getting the best of me.  I reached out to a dear friend and asked for prayer.  She has prayed for me so much over the past year and I've even seen her prayers for me answered.  Sometimes God speaks to us through our friends.  He sends us reminders that we sometimes need multiple times.  Her words hit home and I immediately started to feel the release of everything I had been holding in.

I had a very timely reminder of how it's his timing not my own recently.  At the beginning of the school year, I had a new driving route to school.  My old route took me past QT in the mornings and now I was going to be going past Casey's.  I stop probably 3-4 times a week whether it's to get something to drink or grab breakfast.  There was an older woman working at the register and she always had a scowl on her face.  Old Becky would have just assumed she was a grouch and chosen to be annoyed by her grouchiness. Improved Becky made it her goal to make this lady smile.  I had NO clue how to accomplish this.

This plan started back in October and I would discuss it during my morning chats with Grams.  Why wasn't she smiling?  How do I reach out to a perfect stranger?!  Christmas came and went and no luck.  I figured it was an insurmountable task.

Then, one random Monday morning in April, it snowed.  Lady was grumbling about the weather as I checked out and I replied, "Mother Nature needs an anti-depressant."  Lady not only smiled, but she full on laughed!  I figured mission was accomplished.  I shared my success with Grams and she was just about as excited as I was.

The next week, I was alone in the store getting my Dr. Pepper and she came out from the counter and we had a little chat.  She's got several grandchildren.  A couple weeks later I was still talking to Grams as I was checking out so I apologized to the lady, "So sorry, if I don't call my Grams in the morning, she gets worried."  She smiled and replied, "Grandmas are special that way."  All the while I've been updating Grams on all of this.

This past Friday was Grams' birthday.  As I was checking out, the lady asked, "how's your grandma?"  I was stunned.  I replied, "It's her 88th birthday today!"

"Well happy birthday to your grandma!"

I called Grams back and shared her birthday wishes from an unlikely source and we were both just stunned how this story had turned out.  It had far exceeded my original goal of simply making her smile.  Now she was making ME smile.  And Grams, too!

It's God's timing.  Not my own.

If you're happy and you know it...

A co-worker brought this book in at the beginning of the year.  It's fun to pull out when we're having a rough day or just have a few minutes of free time and need a chuckle.  Some of the things in the book are completely absurd - conchologists anyone?  Some are the opposite of happy - stranded on a desert island?  And others, just bring a slow grin to your face the moment you read it - the first drops of rain on the roof.  The majority of them hold no meaning to me at all.  Whether because they are a regional happening or because I have never experienced them so can't say whether that is a happy thing or not.  I think some of those 14,000 things are simply in there to get to 14,000.  I set out to create my own list of happy, but at a much more realistic level.  I settled on 100.  I wouldn't have to be reaching to find things, but I would have to make sure that each and every thing that made it on the list really counted.

1.  1st day of green grass  2.  cloud shapes   3. wombats   4. blowing bubbles   5.  making a stranger laugh   6. old people's stories   7. brand new Ticonderoga Pencils   8. tiramisu   9. honey garlic pizza   10. night games at Kinnick   11. grilled pork chops   12. bonfires at the lake   13. fireworks   14. walking on crunchy leaves   15. grace   16. a new start   17. impromptu picnics   18. card games   19. new shampoo   20. buying used books   21. flower shopping    22. planting flowers   23. walking barefoot in the grass   24. swinging at the park   25. hot dogs and mac n cheese   26. baby bunnies  27. holding hands at the movies   28. Snookie's   29. movie days in bed   30. dancing with a baby   31. big brothers   32. snail mail   33. kitchen stores   34. snow days   35. fresh Dr. Pepper                  36. Twinky parties   37. family meals   38. rubbing a cat's belly   39. clean sheets   40. singing out loud   41. impromptu dance parties   42. vacuum chambers   43. playing piano   44. Honeycrisp apples   45. Alongsiders   46. PB+J+Cheetos   47. capybaras   48. amazing co-workers   49. your own bed after a long trip   50. rainy days when you can sleep in   51. the Iowa State Fair   52. London   53. a bunch of balloons   54. pink carnations   55. slippers   56. musicals   57. adventures   58. Zombie Burger   59. sandal weather   60. paper airplanes   61. BBQ   62. cooking with friends   63. prayers   64. happy tears   65. sleeping with the windows open   66. aha moments   67. boat rides   68. movie marathons   69. best friends  70. birds chirping in March   71. baby ducks   72. funnel cakes   73. pigeons   74. road trips   75. new friends  76.  old friends    77. wearing pj's all day   78. take-off   79. special deliveries   80. Thanksgiving   81. salvation   82. black magic cake   83. windows down/music turned up   84. the Iowa state law library   85. running in a rain storm   86. Toms   87. donuts   88. good hair days   89. eye-shadow palettes 90. Benjamin Lincoln   91.mix cd's  92. a good night's sleep   93. Vick's Vapo Rub   94. painted toe nails   95. leftovers that are better the 2nd day   96. polka dots   97. glitter and rainbows   98. quokkas   99. nature hikes               100. Victoria and Albert

What's your happy?