If you're happy and you know it...

A co-worker brought this book in at the beginning of the year.  It's fun to pull out when we're having a rough day or just have a few minutes of free time and need a chuckle.  Some of the things in the book are completely absurd - conchologists anyone?  Some are the opposite of happy - stranded on a desert island?  And others, just bring a slow grin to your face the moment you read it - the first drops of rain on the roof.  The majority of them hold no meaning to me at all.  Whether because they are a regional happening or because I have never experienced them so can't say whether that is a happy thing or not.  I think some of those 14,000 things are simply in there to get to 14,000.  I set out to create my own list of happy, but at a much more realistic level.  I settled on 100.  I wouldn't have to be reaching to find things, but I would have to make sure that each and every thing that made it on the list really counted.

1.  1st day of green grass  2.  cloud shapes   3. wombats   4. blowing bubbles   5.  making a stranger laugh   6. old people's stories   7. brand new Ticonderoga Pencils   8. tiramisu   9. honey garlic pizza   10. night games at Kinnick   11. grilled pork chops   12. bonfires at the lake   13. fireworks   14. walking on crunchy leaves   15. grace   16. a new start   17. impromptu picnics   18. card games   19. new shampoo   20. buying used books   21. flower shopping    22. planting flowers   23. walking barefoot in the grass   24. swinging at the park   25. hot dogs and mac n cheese   26. baby bunnies  27. holding hands at the movies   28. Snookie's   29. movie days in bed   30. dancing with a baby   31. big brothers   32. snail mail   33. kitchen stores   34. snow days   35. fresh Dr. Pepper                  36. Twinky parties   37. family meals   38. rubbing a cat's belly   39. clean sheets   40. singing out loud   41. impromptu dance parties   42. vacuum chambers   43. playing piano   44. Honeycrisp apples   45. Alongsiders   46. PB+J+Cheetos   47. capybaras   48. amazing co-workers   49. your own bed after a long trip   50. rainy days when you can sleep in   51. the Iowa State Fair   52. London   53. a bunch of balloons   54. pink carnations   55. slippers   56. musicals   57. adventures   58. Zombie Burger   59. sandal weather   60. paper airplanes   61. BBQ   62. cooking with friends   63. prayers   64. happy tears   65. sleeping with the windows open   66. aha moments   67. boat rides   68. movie marathons   69. best friends  70. birds chirping in March   71. baby ducks   72. funnel cakes   73. pigeons   74. road trips   75. new friends  76.  old friends    77. wearing pj's all day   78. take-off   79. special deliveries   80. Thanksgiving   81. salvation   82. black magic cake   83. windows down/music turned up   84. the Iowa state law library   85. running in a rain storm   86. Toms   87. donuts   88. good hair days   89. eye-shadow palettes 90. Benjamin Lincoln   91.mix cd's  92. a good night's sleep   93. Vick's Vapo Rub   94. painted toe nails   95. leftovers that are better the 2nd day   96. polka dots   97. glitter and rainbows   98. quokkas   99. nature hikes               100. Victoria and Albert

What's your happy?

Tracks.

What is currently on my playlist (clearly I am a pyro with the amount of burn references)

Burning Gold - Christina Perri

When a Heart Breaks - Ben Rector

Life in Color - OneRepublic

Touching the Ground - Brandi Carlile

Below My Feet - Mumford and Sons

Burn - Ellie Goulding

By the Grace of God - Katy Perry

Fantasy - MS MR

The Fault in Our Stars - Troye Sivan

I Don't Wanna Break - Christina Perri

Story of My Life - One Direction

Burning Bridges - OneDirection

Happy - Pharrell

Pride and Joy - Brandi Carlile

I Will Follow You - Rivvrs

The Words - Christina Perri

What's on yours?

Let it Go.

The no make up selfie trend has been sweeping Facebook.  I decided not to participate.  Not because I have anything against not wearing make up, but because of this.  Now, I do love make up more than the average bear.  Not because my confidence relies on it, but because I truly just love make up.  It is fun and creative and pretty.  But, some days I just don't feel like it.  Today was one of those days.  This is me in all my no make up glory.  Fluorescent school lighting.  Bad hair day.  Breaking out like a hormonal teenager.  Haven't seen a good dose of sunshine for months.  And that's ok.

Is this the easiest photo to share with the world? Nope.  But why do we try to hide who we are so much?  There is so much we take the time to hide from others, but we can't hide those things from God.  He already knows all our nooks and crannies.  The thigs we don't want to share.  The hurts.  The bad thoughts.  The worries.  The doubts.  The fears.

Lay them before God- he wants to share in and relieve our burdens.  He wants us to show we need him!  I love the line "our God is jealous for his own."

Once we become transparent with God, it flowers over to our every day lives.  Be willing to ask for help from your friends and family.  They too want to relieve your burdens and help you through the hard times.  Sometimes it is so hard to let people in and admit you are struggling, but your load is so much lighter when you have people helping to lift you up.    Granted, in this day and age of social media it is easy to over share and turn it into a pity party.  Reach out to people in real life.  Those people who don't hesitate to pray for you.  Help you.  Build you up.

Being transparent to others and with God opens a lot of doors.  People who see your hurts and struggles will come to you when they need help.  Other people who are going through a similar trial may see you as a beacon.  Showing people you are real is so important.  I want my faith to be about who I am- inside and out.  I want people to see that I am different.  That I act different.  React different.  And that that is a good thing.

You just have to let it go. (no I am not going to insert the song everyone has recently come to know and love right here).

God knows why I am going through a certain trial or struggle.  Why do I sometimes hesitate to ask for his help?  He has the perfect solution that he will reveal in his perfect timing.  He already knew it was going to happen.  I just have to admit I need the help.

I can come before God.  Flaws and all.  At any time.  Any where.  And that is pretty amazing!  And the zits and the bad lighting and the wonky bangs?  He doesn't care one bit.



P.S. Let it Go started playing just as I went to hit publish. Awesome!

I'm Sure

This is the trademark phrase of the Johnson family.  If you spend any amount of time around them, you pick it up into your daily vocab as well.  If you watch Duck Dynasty, you know that for Uncle Si, hey can mean all matter of things.  I'm sure is like that for the Johnsons.  I find myself using it more than I care to admit, but when it comes down to it...it isn't the worst phrase to be in the habit of saying.  While it is usually used in a joking or sarcastic manner, I also want people to know what I'm really sure of.

I'm sure that God exists.

Even though I've never seen him, I know he's there.  I don't believe in luck or coincidences that much for it to be a fluke all the time my prayers have been answered or just how perfectly they've been answered.

I'm sure that God sent his son to cover my sins.

This whole understanding grace thing is fairly new to me, but man...once you get it...it's pretty amazing.  Someone sacrificed themselves to cover all my mistakes and bad decisions.

I'm sure that faith is a decision.

One that includes humbling yourself and letting go of all the skeletons in your closet.  But, once you do...it's literally like being given a whole new life.  A life you couldn't imagine would be so amazing.  So perfectly designed for you.

I'm sure that it is never too late to believe.  To be accepted into this wonderful family.

Whether you are 8....or 88.

I'm full of it....(joy that is)

I spoke at a local young adults group this past weekend and they recorded it.  To hear me tell my story of finding grace in all of its awkwardness, check it out here!

Sgt. Pepper Denied my Membership

For this first 26 years of my life, February 14th was my grandpa's birthday.  If he were alive today, it would be his 99th birthday!  96 is still a pretty amazing accomplishment.  I never h ad a bad Valentine's Day where all my expectations failed, I was disappointed by someone I loved, or any of the other cliche things that people get so upset about over one day because it was first and foremost a birthday celebration of one of my most favorite people.  My grandpa and I were particularly close.  I will probably cry today because of him not some silly holiday.

For those of you who think Valentine's Day sucks - DON'T LET IT!  I for one am choosing not to be a lonely heart.

1. It's just another regular day.  Choose this mindset and go forward with your day as usual.

None of my clothing today is pink or red or contains hearts (except my necklace which I wear pretty much everyday so it doesn't count).  I haven't made any plans that could fail.  I showered and decided it was a contacts day because this darn cold is still holding on tight.  I decided to not wear socks in hopes that it's warm again today.  I have flip flopped on stopping to get a pop on the way to school because my Sleep Cycle App told me I had a not great night of sleep (thanks sinus cavities). Just a typical day in the life of Becky.

2. Let go of the expectations.  Embrace what you have.

I'm sure there are people out there who expect me to crab about Valentine's Day.  As most single people do.  But, think about it.  Do you have shelter? Food? Clothes?  I am have these in abundance.  Don't have a special someone?  I have LOTS of special someones.  Someones I can call and talk to at just about any time of day.  A whole lot of someones who will drop what they're doing a pray for me if I ask.  Someones who ask me out on "dates."  I am not saying this to brag by any means - I just want you to take stock of your blessings.  No matter how small they might seem.  And I can afford a decent bag of chocolate which is an added bonus.  And flowers?  I'll just go stand in the flower section at Hy-Vee to get my fill if I so desire.  My allergies say probs not though.

3.Show Love today.

Your family.  Your friends.  Your pet.  Your local barista.  The stranger on the street whose day looks worse than yours.  Smile.  Say a kind word.  Whenever you give love away, it seems to come back multiplied.

So, happy Friday February 14th dear friends.  Gramps, I hope you are partying it up in heaven.  I have a wonderful day of work to finish getting ready for.

When God gives you a story...

I can recall the hardest day of my teaching career with remarkable clarity.  I wasn't even fully a teacher yet - just halfway through my first student teaching placement.  I had just taken attendance and was a little bummed because one of my favorite students was absent.  A few of the students made snide comments about where she might be, but I chose to ignore them and get ready for the lesson.  It was constitution day and I'm pretty passionate about that document.  All of a sudden, one of the assistant principals were pulling me and the classroom teacher out of the classroom.  The student who was absent?  She had committed suicide the night before.  I can't even begin to explain the helplessness I immediately felt.  They weren't going to be announcing it to the students yet, but I had to return to my classroom if everything was ok and go on teaching.  I was struck by feelings of - what could I have done?  Did I miss signs? Had she tried to reach out to anyone?  Could anyone have made a difference?  I certainly had no idea what this student's faith life was like, but I knew all I could do was pray for peace and understanding.  It was later found out that she didn't mean to truly kill herself, she just wanted to scare her family, but something went wrong and she actually died.

I hope I never have those feelings as a teacher again.

This story has a point.  For the longest time, I believed it was ok to lead by example when it came to sharing my faith.  I thought all I had to do was "act" like a Christian and that would be enough.  I would even use the excuse that "I have a quiet faith."  In reality I was scared.  I was worried about the people who wouldn't want to listen or have anything to do with me after they found out that I was a Christian.

Over the course of the past year, I have come to recognize that God was potentially giving me a story that would make sharing my faith more accessible to people.  People who felt lost or hurt or worried that whatever was in their past made them not good enough.  It certainly wasn't the story I would have written for myself, but God has remained faithful and shown me how powerful our lowest moments can be.  I do not have to walk around with any shame about where my life is, because I have given it fully over to the Lord.

I have had more opportunities to share God's love and his story with people in the last several months, than I ever did in my previous years of living.  We are called to share his love and his gospel and I finally get it.  I no longer worry about offending or having the wrong words.  Because I've asked for strength and wisdom, he readily gives it to me.

Just this past week, I received news that a friend had suddenly passed away.  While I don't know many details, I was immediately hit with those same feelings of hearing my student had passed away.  While I am fairly sure I knew where this friend stood in her faith, I never outright asked her or took the time to fully learn her story.  I know I cannot carry around guilt over this, but it was a wake up call that I need to seek out any and all opportunities to share my faith.

I no longer want to have a "quiet faith."  I don't want people to know my standing with God by my actions alone.  I no longer want to fear people's opinions of me when they learn I am a Christian.  I want to stand proud and humble in my faith.  To know God has given me his calling to spread the good news.  So that I never have to wonder again where those I hold dear will be going when they someday pass away.  I want to know I will leave this earth having done my best to further his kingdom.

And while this is all still new to me and a little out of my comfort zone, I can tell you - he will let you know just how far he is willing to stretch that comfort zone if it means just one person will come to know him.  And I'm really ok with that.